We walked in together, the way we always did.
Side by side we walked, as always
Fingers curled in relaxation at our sides
On our way to one of many superficial places
to be with the same people as always
all of us so superficial it drove me mad.
You could flip through a dictionary one-hundred times and never find them once
they wern’t there, they just where what they where
but you couldn’t define them as anything more.
that i had become one of those people
made my stomach retch with every step we took toward the counter.
“Two pairs of skates, for the party.”
Of course, how could i forget
this was one of those, those monumental days
We’d all throw ourselves upon the feet of the beloved one
whos daddy’s mastercard had payed for the cake.
Oh yes, a party.

Sat in the corner and laced them up tight
waited for my ankle for scream in pain until i finally released my grip
everything feels better after a little shot of adrenaline
watched them converse and laugh over in their territory
i’d lost her rather fast this time
usually took her a bit longer to scramble off from my side
like a troublesome child, she always seemed to run off from me
always crawling back when trouble found her
I stood up and wobbled toward the lot of them
loud and shrieking, girls, yet undefinable
felt the ground slip away from me
it doesn’t help to be on skates when your lose your head.
One, two, three
deep breaths
don’t say anything, let them have their fun
you choose not join them, you accept the conseqences.

I groped the rail and glared
graceful figures, clumsy skates attached at the foot
what a preposterous site. all of them, doing what they do best
Got a hold of myself after some time, the panic of the transformed ground finally passed.
Found a way toward them, and god, oh how they wern’t pleased.
I can see the disdain in their eyes still, oh how i wanted to rip the smug smiles off their faces, the glistening eyes from their sockets.
Felt my nails, long and sharp, a tingling sensating, begging to scratch, hoping to fight, but i contained myself.
Looked down, feigned discomfort, while in reality, I stared right through their boots, thinking how much i’d love to rip off each of their vulnerable little toes, feed them to them one by one, until they screamed in fury.

Deep breaths, 1,2,3. Light up the room with your smile
you didn’t have braces for nothing you know.
“So do you wan’t to skate, or not I ask?”
They oblige, unhappily, they oblige.